A Poem

I wrote this poem a few weeks ago. I was feeling a bit down and honestly a little envious of somebody I know who just got engaged. (Seriously, I'd love for my boyfriend to pop the question already!) 

 

Writing is such a great way to really get your feelings out there in front of you so you can understand what's going on in your heart at that point in time. Sometimes it even helps you realize that there are some things you need to change your attitude and thinking about, like this poem did for me. I'm calling it Beloved Faire: A Poem of Longing and Desire. I hope you enjoy it!

 

My heart is broken,

Ripped in two,

It bleeds with every thought of you.

My great immortal,

My midnight prayer,

Yet you left me alone and bare.

Return to me, beloved faire, and kiss my tears away.

For I'm in need of your sweet touch to keep y darkest fears at bay.

How long must you make me wait and sit at idle's step?

I need you here beside me now so my heart may finally rest.

Your love is vast and wondrous, a mystery too great to know,

But my days I would gladly spend with that mystery to behold.

Do not fear what the seasons may bring, for I'll be forever at your side.

Forever I'll be my beloved's, and forever he'll be mine.

Come to me, beloved faire, and place your hand in mine.

Life is a journey that's only lived right with our souls intertwined.

My second book, The Rose Among Thorns, is now available!

Twenty summers have come and gone since Alina aer Anya first sat upon the throne of Linolae. Peace carried throughout the Realms of Higher Law for many a year, yet evil has a way of brewing when you least expect it. Arwynnia aer Alina, heiress to the throne of Linolae, has been training for the defense of her kingdom since she was a lass. But never did she expect an adversary so soon in her years or one with a secret past involving her mother. While trying to keep her people's waning faith, as well as her own, from failing, she meets a mysterious ally who's quick in stealing her heart, yet he may not be what he seems. As secrets begin to unravel, will Winnie find it in herself to forgive? Or will evil's clandestine plan on gaining the heir to his side be a triumph? With only their faith to lend them hope, the daughters of Linolae must arise.


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If I had the world's attention, this is what I'd say. . .

To the young women: Respect yourself. Don’t flaunt what you have, even if you know it’s good. Beauty doesn’t come from the style of your hair, the designer or size on the label of your dress, or from a certain shade of lipstick. It comes from the grace in which you carry yourself, in the words that you speak, in the confidence you hold. Be confident in who you are, rather than in what you’ve got. And when it comes to men, bring them to respecting you by respecting yourself. Be the type of woman a man chases to spend his life with, not to spend the night in his bed. And when you happen to find that special one, treat him right. Respect him, tell him you love him and mean it.

To the young men: There are enough boys out there. What we need now are men they can look up to and learn from. Grow up and get some determination. Be passionate about life, have a drive, and make a positive impact in the world. And when it comes to women, treat her right. There are many good girls out there that don’t deserve a broken heart. Call her, tell her you love her and mean it. Show her she’s a precious treasure because in your world, she should be. She deserves to know it by your actions, not just your words.

To the children: Listen to your parents, because usually they just want what’s best for you. You must come to the conclusion that there’s always a winner and a loser, no matter what the ref says, and yes, in life there will always be someone who’s mean to you. Are these years tough? Do they hurt? Yes. But, I promise, you CAN get through it. Focus on the days to come when dreams come true rather than the days you’re in. You are one in a million, and yet there are a million others. Strive to be unique, strive to excel farther than you or anyone else could ever dream and never give up. Always remember, failure is just a stepping stone to success as long as you get back up when you fall, and rejection is just an opportunity for something better.

To the parents: Wake up. Your children need you. And not just the money you provide for their needs. They need YOU; your time, your wisdom, your unfailing, unconditional love. Don’t just assume they know it, because one day you won’t be able to show them. Get them ready to stand up to the criticism of their peers, to step foot in this dream-taking, life-sucking world and stand in its face, boldly and refusing to back down. You need to teach them how to get back up again when they fall. Wake up.

To the world: It’s time we stop allowing Hollywood and society to form our moral ideas and way of life. It’s time a stand be taken for what we know in our hearts to be right. We all have scars and open wounds, but it’s time we all stopped searching for a temporary fix of that empty place inside of us. Only One person can fill it and He’s waiting for us. Stop running. Let’s make this a time in history worth remembering.

What is life?

I sit here and ponder this four letter word as the clock ticks loudly in my ears, distracting me, haunting me. Each second equals a past, a moment gone that can never be returned. What could have been in that last second, minute, hour, day? Is this all life is? Wondering, pondering, listening to the tick-tock? Waiting for the hand to stop?

Contrary to popular opinion, life is more than having fun, I come to realize, hearing laughter float up to my second story window above the passing cars on the street. Not every moment are you going to have a smile on your face and your own laugh ringing in your ears. It may be hard, it may be lonely- a couple things I’d rather not care to admit. This life that is wrapped up in days and years may knock you down so hard you can barely get up again and leave you with a pain so sharp no earthly thing can help in lessening it.

I stare hard at the page before me, thinking back, remembering the past. Pent up anger and bitterness weigh down on your chest, secrets that come unburied, lies that are told, deceits that are laid, so much heartache and pain, and I begin to wonder if this four letter word is worth it all. What good is it if happiness is spoken of like an unattainable dream, and you always find yourself wading out in self-pity’s stream?
But then my pen falters, and I take in a breath as my eyes grow wide and I think, “In all my ponderings and deliberations I never once thought, what if this life isn’t all about. . .me?”  

I stand at the notion, pacing the cold wooden floor, the incessant tick-tocking seeming now to match the racing pace of my heart.

What if life is more than petty emotions and missed opportunities? What if it’s a journey with hills and valleys, a race that’s to be run not with negative expectation of the next valley to be trudged but with the exhilaration of the hope of being atop that next hill, basking in the latest accomplishment of. . .life? A walking, running, living, piece of art. . .on display for all to see and though perhaps each one looked upon with a different perspective, each with its own unique sort of beauty.

I realize, no, it’s not all about me and constantly thinking he didn’t do this, or she said that! It’s not about reliving my past and being knocked down by it in my present! No!

True, this life isn’t all about having fun nor is it to be enveloped in the idea that it’s nothing but hardship and emotional suffering.

It should be seen as an opportunity, a path leading to a purpose, a divine privilege. An age to lift up a new generation and an honor to gain wisdom from the last. A destiny to be undertaken, a book waiting to be read, a heart to be touched.
With every breath we take we can choose our next direction, whether it be right or wrong, and yet still if we choose the wrong, forgiveness awaits.
Life is not something to be wished away, but rather an adventure to be taken, a legacy to be left, an occasion to be more than what is expected of you.

I stand here and ponder, listening to the tick-tocking of the clock, no longer concerned with the passing seconds, only with the seconds to come. And I realize, life, the real kind that leaves a lasting impression, is a choice. Everything else is just merely existing.

By: Gina Bovyn 

Daily Devotional: Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the mark of those who belong to God. .  .powerful, powerful statement from church today, and so SO true! Ephesians chapter 5 says to be followers, or imitators, of God. This doesn't exclude forgiving others. If anyone had the right to be in unforgiveness, it was Jesus as He hung on the cross. But what did He say? He said in the book of Luke, Father forgive them, for they know not what they do. This is the picture of forgiveness. Jesus hanging on the Cross, looking out at the very ones who put Him there with nothing but compassion and love in His eyes. It's what purchased our forgiveness. And it was from the Father's heart. This forgiveness cannot be revoked either. Now, it's up to us to be the example and imitate God. Walk in forgiveness today.

Am I Really Forgiven?

Wow! It's been a LONG time since I wrote a post, but I'm excited to write what God has shared with me. Recently I got out of a difficult relationship (one reason why I haven't blogged that much). 

I dated this man for nearly six months, and by the end of it, I felt almost completely broken down. I made so many bad decisions and was disobedient to God and those I loved, that after it was ended I felt how could God ever forgive me? Even though I’ve been a born again believer of God for over five years and have studied to know Him more than I even studied in school, I had been knowingly disobedient all because of my emotions. I’ve learned in my years of study that God loves us no matter what we do, that He forgives us of every sin, and He forgets them. But in this, for some reason, the devil kept making me think Could He really forget the way I’ve acted, and the bad decisions I have made? Can He really speak to me again and wrap me in His presence again after how I’ve acted? Will He reveal His heart to me again after what I’ve been? The devil tried to tell me no. But you know what? God stepped in to tell me the truth, as He always will if we’ll just refuse to listen to those lies from hell and start listening for Him.

I asked Him one night as I laid in bed, “Father, please let me know that even though I may have done wrong, you still have great things for me.” And this is what He said.

“Remember the prodigal son.” Now I’ve read this parable many times, but I’ve never truly had a deep revelation of it, but now I do, and I’d like to share it with you. We begin in Luke chapter 15 starting in verse 11 through 24.

“And he (Jesus) said, A certain man had two sons: And the younger of them said to his father, Father give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living. And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living. And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in the land; and he began to be in want. And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him. And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger? I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee. And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy servants. And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him: and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.”

Now here this father is and his young son asks him for his inheritance. The son asks for what his father has laid up for him. And the father gives it. Then the son decides he wants to live life his own way and leaves the comforts and benefits of his father’s house. The young man completely wastes all that his father had given him, and, after a famine ensues, comes in to an agreement with a man not from his own country. The son makes a covenant with someone outside of where he belongs, and not only does he do that, but he takes a job feeding pigs. This is completely disgraceful for a Jewish man because the Mosaic Law classifies pigs as unclean animals. So the son goes against everything he has ever learned or lived by. But, he finally comes to his senses and realizes the mistakes he has made. He’s heartbroken at what he’s become, so much so that he doesn’t even feel worthy to step into his father’s presence as an equal, but as a servant. He feels completely worthless as a human being, a disgrace to his father. But he goes home, knowing that was the one place where he was safe and had provision. He’s ready to tell his father this great speech of his unworthiness, how his dad should just make him a servant, but his father sees him while he’s approaching their home. Notice this, his father sees him, not his decision to go out on his own, not his bad choices or mistakes, he sees his beloved son, and he runs to his boy and falls on his shoulders, overjoyed that he has come home. The man doesn’t even let the boy finish his speech when he begins to tell his dad how unworthy he is. No. The father tells his servants, go and get the best robe that we have and clothe my son in it, go get the ring of our family and put it on him, go get some shoes to put n his feet, and bring that fatted calf that we’ve been saving and kill it so we can have a party, for my son was gone and now he’s home!

 And there’s something more to that fatted calf than just meat for their party. In the Old Testament, in order for a person’s sin to be covered, blood had to be spilled. God killed an animal in the Garden of Eden after Adam and Eve sinned so it’s blood could cover their sin. He put in the books of the Law that sacrifices had to be made in order for the peoples’ sin to be covered by the blood. Isn’t that beautiful? Now think of this story in light of the father being God and the son a believer that decides to go his or her own way.

We say to God, give me all that you have laid up for me, Lord. And because He’s a giving God, He gives it. But then we make the decision to leave, to go our own way, listen to our own reasoning, being led by our own will rather than His. We waste the wisdom and knowledge He bestowed upon us, waste the blessings and financial provisions He’s always given, until we completely forsake everything He had taught us. But then one day we come to our senses, our eyes are opened and reality sets in. What am I doing?!?! I had everything in my relationship with God! He taught me from His Word and gave me the ability to produce wealth (Deut. 8:18), He healed me, cared for me, led me, clothed me in His righteousness and gave me right standing in His sight! What have I done?!?! And then the devil sets in on our minds, telling us, You know, you’re not worthy to be called a son of God anymore. Not after what you’ve done. So we begin to feel unworthy, but we know that being in that place with our Heavenly Father was the only place we actually had true peace and joy and full prosperity, complete wholeness so even though that shame and guilt is weighing down our consciousness, we go back to Him. We go ready to say Lord I messed up. I messed up so bad that I don’t think I’m even worthy for you to use me anymore, but please, Father make me your servant.

But God in all His goodness, sees us afar off, and runs to us. He meets us with open arms and says to us, My son, my daughter. You are my beloved, my precious child. I see you, not your sin or what you did. I see you. And He tells those ministering angels (Hebrews 1:14), those servants of His, to go, get the best robe, get the best that we have and clothe my child in it. Go get that ring, that symbol of being in My family and place it upon her finger, go get those shoes of peace, that symbol of a harmonious relationship with Me, and place them upon his feet, and go, bring forth my Son, the One Who shed His blood for this one’s sin, in order that it may be completely washed away, that I may remember the wrongdoings no more. For my son, my daughter was dead, he was out of correspondence with Me, but now he’s home, he’s found, and he’s Mine!

That’s awesome to me. That’s how God sees us, my friends. Even after we sin, even after we go our own way. When we come back to Him, He’s ready to receive us. He’s ready to pick up right where we left off and bring us into all the glorious plans that He has for our lives. So don’t allow the devil to place guilt and shame upon you when you make a mistake. Remember the truth. Remember the prodigal son, and remember the love that your Father has for you.  

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