Lady White

Almost three years ago I finished my first novel entitled Lady White. A couple years of being rejected for not having an agent and then not being able to find an agent, caused me to kind of want to give up on my dream. But God kept it alive in my heart. One day I went online when all of a sudden, at the bottom of the screen, an ad pops up for Tate Publishing saying they were accepting unsolicited manuscripts. With a prayer, I sent mine off. Four weeks later, the phone rings, and it's Tate saying they want my novel. That day was about seven months ago now and my book is heading towards the final stages in production. I prayed for this day. I give all the glory to God because I know that without Him this door would never have been opened and I never would have figured out how to do all that I needed to in this process. A few days ago, my cover options were sent to me, and yesterday I made my choice. Here it is!

Lady White takes place in a medival fantastical realm. It's about a young woman who leads a band of assassins, and she's writing her life story of how she became that. It's a tale of romance, betrayal, adventure, and finally salvation. Look for it soon!

My Very Own Love Story

Reading is one of my favorite past times. A good book can reel me in and keep me there for hours. But one abominable thing I always do is . . .read the end before the beginning. Horrible? I know! But I like to make sure I'll finish the book feeling satisfied. One book I've read, which will remain nameless, has brought me to do this. It was a great book, but the end, though a complete shocker, left me feeling dejected and angry. You may say, But if it brought some type of emotion out of you, it must have been a great book! Usually that's what we authors are shooting for. But for me, I prefer a book that makes me sigh in happiness with the only tears in my eyes being from the beauty in the hero and heroine's love. I know this isn't how everyone feels, but let us just agree to disagree.

At times, I'll close my eyes and picture my life as one of my novels, especially when I'm lying in bed at night. I'll reminise on the events that made me the woman I am today and then I'll imagine what my future may be like, or rather what I pray it'll be like. Sometimes I'll even catch myself asking Jesus, "Lord, please show me how it's going to be." But no matter how badly I want to, I can't read the end of my story, and though I know that God is more than able to show me things to come, life is a journey, one with many twists and turns, decisions and choices. If I knew the end before the rest, it wouldn't be me making the choices and God wants us to be free to make the right decisions and the wrong ones. (But He's always wanting us to make the right ones.) The journey is a privelage. And I know that when we choose God, though it may be a shocker, our end will be great. I am most confident that at the end of my life, I will be satisfied and happy. Why? Because I'm allowing God to be the writer. I have made the choice to give Him the pen, and the rest of my decisions will be based on what He says.

One of these decisons I've made is to wait for love. In this day and age, finding love in life is a major priority. And I'm not belittling it. We all want someone to love, that special person. But I don't want just a special someone, I want the special someone. When I was young I told my mother that I only wanted the man who would be husband. I came to this choice because I witnessed the heartbreak of friends and I didn't want to get hurt. My choice was made out of fear. And I grew up with that choice, even though as I got older it became such bondage. I was lonely, heartbroken. I had made the decison to wait so I wouldn't get hurt, yet I ended up suffering a complete different heartache that hurt just as bad anyway! Then something amazing happened. I fell in love with Jesus.

I've always known of God. My family has gone to church ever since I was born. But I never had a relationship with Christ. He was just there for me, someone I had to pray to. But then a medical scare arose and He was the One I turned to. For once in my life, I sought His face, His companionship, His love. And what love! My goodness! The love of God is greater than anything a human heart can fathom. I fell in love with Him, with His Word, with His sacrifice. He died for me! Why? Because He loves me too much to see me be condemned. Praise God! With the love of Christ I was complete.

This is something I've only realized a few weeks ago. I am complete in Him, and so is every other person who calls Him Lord. As one of my favorite preachers says, we don't need to find our second half. We are whole people, searching for another whole person. If this is new for you, read Colossians 2:10. It says, And ye are complete in him . . . The Amplified states, And you are in Him, made full and having come to fullness of life [in Christ you too are filled with theGodhead-Father, Son, and Holy Spirit- and reach full spiritual stature . . .] He is my everything. But does that mean my desire to be a wife has diminished? No, on the contrary. I'm more excited than ever. I realize now that being complete in Jesus is going to make me a much better wife than I would be feeling as if my husband was everything. Why? Because I will be able to love him even when he gets on my nerves, even when he hurts my feelings. I'm complete in Jesus, and I am believing that the man God has for me will hold Jesus first in his heart as well. So, in a much happier attitude, I am still waiting. Not because I don't want to be hurt, but because I want the one man God made for me and me for him. I can't settle for anything less. And I know that when the time is right, my very own love story will be greater than I could have imagined. I'm expecting something great!

So for all my single brothers and sisters in Christ out there, hold on. Seek God first, make Him first in your heart. And allow Him to lead you to the one He has chosen. Let us not give in to the temptations of this world, but live as ambassadors for Christ, as an example to the rest, walking in love and loving strong. Be blessed everybody! And happy seeking

Love is . . . Seeking

Busy. It’s a word we’ve all come to use quite frequently. I’d say one of the top ten words in a person’s vocabulary. Personally, I haven’t felt that busy in a few years, just going about my daily routine, but lately I’ve come to feel a little run down. I’ve been . . . busy. There’s a lot going on; a lot that I’m expecting to happen; a lot that I’m praying for and working towards. It feels at times like my mind is a roller coaster, going round and round, faster and faster, and the stop button is nowhere in sight. Have you ever felt that way before? This type of lifestyle can take a toll on us, physically, emotionally, spiritually. If we’re not careful, busy can take first place and we can begin to ignore what’s most important. I’ve seen this try to take place in me, and I don’t like it.

It seems that even though I spend time with God in the morning, it’s not the quality time that I used to have with Him. It’s not communing with Him. A while back I wrote a blog about not just praying or going through the motions religious tradition has taught but communing with God. Commune in the Webster’s online dictionary means “to communicate intimately.” Bond was a synonym. I will reiterate my point in this blog that I made in the former; The only way we bond with people is by spending quality time with them. By getting to know their hearts. This is exactly what God wants. He wants us to bond with Him and get to know His heart.

The Apostle Paul said after thirty years of ministry that his earnest desire was to know God. This is what it says in Philippians 3:10 in the Amplified version, “[For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], . . .” After thirty years of preaching and being closer to Jesus than any of the disciples, Paul’s desire was to know God. Can you imagine being so hungry for God that even thirty years of getting to know Him wasn’t enough? Can you say that’s your desire? My own has been dwindling, I’m ashamed to say, but I will not allow it to go out. I am determined to be on fire for God. He is my life-source, my best friend. I want to make Him proud with how I live my life on this earth. I want to fulfill every plan that He’s predestined for me. The only way for that to be accomplished is by me seeking Him continually and getting to know His voice.  Friends, things on the To Do list can wait. Time spent with God cannot. He wants to fellowship with us, to show us things by His Holy Spirit and lead us in His direction, the path for ultimate joy and blessing in life. It’s up to us to choose.

God won’t make you seek Him. It’s completely up to us. He’s given us freewill. He told the Israelites He laid before them life and death, blessing and cursing. Then He said choose. The same goes for us in this day. Besides, don’t you think it means a little more when you want to spend time with someone, rather than being forced to? I would much rather know someone sought my presence because they desired to be near me. Make that your motive when you go to seek God. Desire to be in His presence.  Look at Psalm 42:1-2 for a moment.

As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?

I’ve learned that the hart (which is a male deer) suffers extreme thirst from its habitat, even more so when it is being hunted. It longs for water.  When it finds an avenue for which to quench its thirst, it eagerly plunges into the water and drinks and drinks and drinks, as if its thirst can’t be quenched. This is a great example that the Psalmist uses in comparing his own thirst for God. Then he asks when shall he appear before God. The Amplified version states “behold the face of God.” I kind of like that version better.  It gives us the idea of seeking God’s face and not His hands. Seeking intimacy and fellowship with God rather than provision. (Don’t get me wrong, God loves to bless us and supply our every need! It’s alright to ask for provision. He welcomes it! But there should be times when we seek to know Him rather than the material things He can give us.)

The last scripture I want to mention is Psalm 63 verse 1. “O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee, in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is. . .”  I want to be like David in this Psalm. Thirsty for God, longing for Him, seeking Him early to find Him in this dry and thirsty land. We can take a lot from this scripture. Think about it. Where there is no water, there is no life. Nothing can dwell in a place that doesn’t have water. There’s no life there. We can take this scripture and see the dry and thirsty land as a spiritually dead place. The people in this place have no relationship with God. Jesus said to the Samaritan woman in John chapter 4 that He would have given her living water. He is the avenue of a relationship with God, to life. When we drink of this water, we shall never thirst. I think it’s safe to say that our land is dry and thirsty, spiritually speaking. But those of us who know God have the privilege of seeking Him and never being in want.

Make a choice today. A quality decision with heart. Fellowship or everyday, busy, life? Sometimes we forget that fellowship is life. Love God by seeking Him, His face not His hands. Strive to know Him, even when you think that you already know everything there is to know. I assure you there is so much more than we could even think.  Make God first, your top priority, and allow everything else to fall into place behind Him. Our days will be better because of it. I know I won’t regret it, and neither will you. Seek Love.

God is Love. (1 John 4:8)

Love is . . . Forgiveness

So often when the subject of forgiveness comes up, we go by our feelings.  We ponder the wrong that was done to us, see how high it goes on our hurt-o-meter, and then we figure out how long it will actually take us to forgive.  We do all sorts of things when we are in this situation.  We act out the silent treatment, we get back at the person, we yell or cry or, if it really hurt, we kick that person out of our lives forever.  But let me ask you something.  Is this love?  (If you are a Christian reading this, I really want you to think about this.)  Is walking in unforgiveness walking in love? 

As followers of Christ, love is who we are.  God is love.  He forgives us of the most horrendous things and accepts us back with open arms.  Let me give an example of love that forgives.

Once there was a man who had two sons.  One day the younger son comes to the father and demands his inheritance.  The father agrees and distributes what he has to the two boys.  Well, the younger son takes off.  He leaves his father’s homestead and he journeys to another country.  He wastes his whole inheritance in frivolous living and indecency. When he has spoiled it all, he cuts covenant with an outsider and labors feeding swine and living in their pen. 

The young man is laying in that muck and filth when he remembers his father and the state of which the home he had left was in. Wealthy, healthy, without want.  So he journeys back.

What would you do?  If you gave someone a large sum of money only for them to waste it and then come running back to you when they were in want, what would you do? 

The father saw his son afar off and he told his servants to make a feast.  He ran to the boy and fell on his neck, so joyful that his son was found again.  He couldn’t care less about the wasted inheritance.  He forgave his son his squandering and welcomed him home. 

In this life, we will get hurt at times.  But that hurt will never go beyond healing.  We need to realize that.  It might feel like something you can’t bear.  But if you allow love to rise above the hurt, healing will come upon its wings.  Unforgiveness is a poison.  It eats you up from the inside out.  But love is the soil from which blessings grow.  Forgiveness is a powerful weapon that we have.  When hurt stands in our way, threatening to overtake us and take down all the joy that we have worked for, we can stand up and say, I choose to forgive and I walk in love.  Hurt may still rise up at times, but when love abides in our hearts, everything else must bow.  Love is master over hurt.  Choose to forgive.    

It's a Relationship

When I got a hold of this, it changed my life forever.  And it changed me for the good.

God loves YOU!

Can you recall when someone spoke to you about God for the first time?  Someone trying to convert you?  So often I hear stories of people telling others who don’t believe they’re no good sinners, especially if the person being spoken to doesn’t want to listen to what the ‘Christian fanatic’ has to say.  I have nothing against these Christians; I’m sure they love God with all of their heart, but let’s face it.  Would you just want to listen to someone tell you how bad you are if you don’t pick up a religion?  Honestly, I would not.  That is why I’m here with a different message.  Not a different Gospel, I will not compromise on the Word of God, but with a message that is long overdue to some.  I’m here to tell you that God loves you, whether you love Him back or not.  Whether you don’t believe in Him or you do.  I’m here to tell you that there is so much more to God than religion.  It’s a relationship. 

The Bible says in John chapter 3 verse 16- For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotton Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

God loved the WORLD.  God loved the unrighteous world so much, He gave His Son Jesus so the world could be saved and have right standing with Him.  Do you want to know something?  Jesus has dealt with the sin problem.  He has made it so that every man, woman, and child on this earth can be righteous, can have right standing with God and be able to stand boldly in His presence without any sense of  inadequacy.  Jesus has made it so you can reign as kings in life on this earth (Romans 5:17).  Jesus has made it so you can be healed and prosperous in every area of your life, including finances.  He has made it so you can be happy and enjoy life on this earth.  God is not a mean god.  He is good and He wants you to be blessed! He loves you more than you can ever know.  If you’re a parent, you know that you want the best for your children.  You want to protect them, and take care of them, and bless them.  Well, that’s exactly how God feels.  Jesus even says it Himself in the Bible (Matthew 7:11- If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good gifts to them that ask him?)  How much more, Jesus said! God wants to do great things for you and through you.  The only thing that’s holding Him back is you.  In order for you to take part in the riches of His glory and in the birthright a child of God has inherited, you have to become a child.  How do you do that? 

Romans 10:9- That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. 

You just have to believe in your heart that Jesus, the Son of God, died on the cross for you and was risen again and confess that with your mouth.  When you ask Jesus into your heart, you automatically become a child of God and the angels of heaven are rejoicing. 

Now a quick message for those who already have a relationship with God, but feel unworthy or like you really messed up.  It doesn't matter where you come from, or what you did in your past, before you were saved or after, He loved you from the beginning of time.

Jeremiah 1:5- Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee. . .

Think about it. When God created this world, He spoke everything into existence. But when it came time to create man, His family, Adam, His son, God took up dust and formed him, God breathed life into him. He didn't just say, Let there be man. He said Let us make man in our image, and then He formed us.  He formed man and breathed into that man His very own life and nature.  Wouldn't you say that that's love?
And maybe you've made mistakes in life. We all do. But that's the beauty of God's love. He forgives.

Psalm 103:8, 10- The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy. He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

Romans 5:8- But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Psalm 103:12- As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
Don't let Satan con you into thinking that what you did is much too bad for God ever to forgive or love you. Because it isn't. God never stopped loving you, no matter what it was. The sin may have caused you to be separated from God and His Blessing, but He never said 'Well, now, that I can never forgive. She is not worthy of my love.' God would never say that! He IS love, and when you are in Jesus, you are the righteousness of God! No, God said, 'she may have made a mistake, but she is still my child, and I love her as much as the day I formed her in her mother's womb.' So when you make a mistake, God still loves you, and when you repent (turn away from that sin) and ask Him for forgiveness and RECEIVE that forgiveness, you are not missing anything. You're still in fellowship with him, you're still in the secret place, and never once had His love for you been diminished.

1 John 1:9-If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Listen, God loves you like He loves Jesus. Jesus said so Himself.

John 17:23- I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.

Say it to yourself in the mirror. God loves me! Meditate on that one thing and let it fill you until you overflow. I can guarantee you that whatever trial comes against you, when you really know that God loves you, nothing is going to seem too big. His love will complete you and take you through.